It was going so well.
In fact, I had been working on a post telling you all about how well the bedrest was going and just how I was coping with the ample amounts of free time. About how I was thinking only in the short-term, breaking my days into manageable blocks of time. About how we had set our sights on Thanksgiving as a milestone and how each day was one day closer to reaching our goal. About how my spirits had lifted and the time seemed to be breezing by at a remarkable pace.
And then I woke up early, early Saturday morning to another bleed. This time, I knew as soon as I stood up but I wasn’t quite prepared for the extent of the incident. We woke my mother in law, who had been staying with us during the week, and made a dash to the hospital. Based on what the doctor said the last time this happened, I thought for sure we would be delivering a baby that morning.
Thankfully, the doctor had other plans and when we left the hospital on Monday, I was still pregnant. The hours during our stay and especially since we’ve been home have been miserable. I’m uncomfortable, anxious and every bit of progress I made emotionally over the previous four weeks has been all but demolished.
I’m trying desperately to cling to the positive thoughts – we made it four extra weeks and are now in a really good place as far as the baby is concerned; the placenta appears to have moved slightly making this a marginal previa rather than a complete one; another bleed is not a certainty and we could maybe even make it another three or four weeks to our optimal delivery date; the baby looks really good and strong and healthy and seems to be completely unfazed by the events unfolding all around him – but staying positive is an enormous challenge.
I hate to be such a downer and wish I could be more upbeat. I know that all of this will be worth it when I can see my boy and know he’s okay. But this is all so overwhelming and I’m just having a hard time. Hopefully, I’ll have better news to report after our consultation with the high risk doctor tomorrow.