Clean Up on Aisle Four

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The baby and I are at the grocery store, contemplating soup selections when I hear something wet hit the floor.  I look down to see small, clear puddles at my feet and feel a warm trickle tracing its way down my leg.

In a sign that I watch too much tv, my immediate first thought was, “OMG, my water just broke and I didn’t know I was pregnant!” I am not even kidding you, I nearly panicked right then in there in the middle if the ethnic foods aisle.

My next thought, several seconds later, after logic and reasoning had regained control, was the equally panic-inducing fear that maybe I had lost control of my bladder and wet myself.  “But I didn’t even have to pee,” I thought.  “How did this even happen?!”

Proof positive of my novice motherhood status/lack of sleep/dimwittedness, the absolute very last thought to enter my mind, even after considering residual rain droplets and checking the soup can I was holding for puddles, was that the child I had strapped to my chest had just experienced a major diaper fail and had relieved himself all over me.  That’s right, folks, he peed on me.  And now that pee was on the floor and I was without a diaper bag or any clean up options whatsoever (we were only running in for a few items so who needs a diaper bag?)  What do you do?

Well, I’ll tell you what I did.  I put the soup can back on the shelf, ran my foot over the puddles in an attempt to clear the mess and promptly moved on.  Yeah, that’s right, I left it.  And I didn’t alert anyone to the mess, either.   I was mortified and, honestly, thought the better option would be to just pay and leave before anything else came leaking from the baby’s hindside.

What would you have done?  Improvise a cleaning device?  Tell a store employee?  Never have left the diaper bag at home in the first place?  Do tell.

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Friday Five: Viral Videos Edition


1.Mr. Arturo Trejo’s Interview with a One-Year-Old.  I literally cannot stop watching this video.  Man, that kid is cute.  Almost as cute as Baby E.  (You should know that originally, the number one spot was the video of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake and their History of Rap, Vol. 2.  Unfortunately, videos from NBC are stupid and incredibly unreliable and disappear without warning, so they have been replaced.  Besides, the baby video is better.  Amen.)

 

Vodpod videos no longer available.
2. Long lost scene from Lost, unveiled at Comic-Con, in which the smoke monster’s name is finally revealed.

 


3. These kids have better moves than I do, especially the one on the right. (Let’s be honest, though, most kids have better moves than I do.)

 


4. This Orkin commercial seems to come on just before bed, like, every night and it totally freaks me out. I wanted to share because I didn’t want to be the only one lying awake in bed for hours at night, waiting for the giant rats to invade. You’re welcome.


5. This Week in Unnecessary Censorship from Jimmy Kimmel, my favorite way to end the week.

 

Happy weekending everyone!

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8 Months!

8 Months

Dear Baby – You can tell everybody this is your song:

Seven Months | Six Months | Five Months | Four Months | Three Months | Two Months | One Month

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Friday Five: Help Wanted Edition

Happy Friday!

1.  Ladies and gentlemen – we have a tooth!  His first pearly white (front, bottom right) popped through the gum on Tuesday.  I feel like this child has been teething since birth, so to finally, FINALLY, see something come from all the drool and whining and sleeplessness is awesome!  Pictures to come, if I can get him to take his hand from his mouth for five seconds.

2.  We finally booked our New York trip(!), including tickets to see Jimmy Fallon(!!) which was like the one thing I wanted to do in the city.  Beyond that, though, I’m not exactly sure how best to maximize our time.  We’ll be there less than 72 hours and will really only have one full day for touristy stuff so I don’t want to try to cram everything into this trip.  There is so much to see and do that the whole thing is completely overwhelming.  Feel free to offer your New York City advice, suggestions, and ominous warnings.

3.  I have not been to see a movie in a movie theater since September 17, 2010, when my husband and I wasted $20 to see Grown Ups.  People, this cannot stand!  I am desperate to see the final HP movie (I missed Deathly Hallows, Part 1 thanks to bedrest/early delivery/NICU baby) but don’t have a babysitter.  I don’t even know how to go about finding a reliable, trustworthy mini-me to care for my preshus. How do normal people ever leave the house after 6:30 pm without dragging a cranky, screamy babe along? Suggestions, please.

4.  Speaking of ill-tempered children out way past their bed time, tomorrow night, we will bring along our baby as we say so long to our dear, dear friend Charles who is moving away to Philadelphia to see the world, broaden his horizons and learn some stuff about God and the Bible at seminary.  The baby won’t be the only one crying either.  Charles was one of my very first friends when I moved to town and has remained the most loyal, most considerate, most wonderful person we know.  We are super sad to see him go and we’re going to miss him like crazy.  Philly, please be kind.  Don’t be a stranger, Charlie Brown.

5. We’ve been working on helping Baby E with his speech and language development, but things aren’t going as one might hope.  Something tells me we may have a bit of a battle on our hands:

Happy Friday, everybody!  Hope you have a great weekend.

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Scenes from our First Fourth of July

Happy 4th of July!

Our first family Fourth of July was pretty low key, as are most things around this house. We slept in, cleaned house and headed out for some fun in the afternoon after the baby’s last nap.

The plan was to go to the beach and enjoy the last bit of the day in the sand and the surf because surely most of the crowds would have cleared by the time we arrived. We could not have been more wrong. Apparently, the party was just getting started and instead of enjoying our family time, we drove around for more than an hour looking for a parking spot before finally giving up and heading back to our side of town.

So, we went to a neighborhood park and had a little impromptu photoshoot. Afterwards, we grabbed some Mexican food as is our new 4th tradition. It was the perfect plan, we thought. Enchiladas and tacos for us, fresh avocado for the baby. I mean, if any restaurant in town would have baby accepted and approved food options, it would be the avocado rich Mexican restaurant. Wrong again. No avocado, we were told, but would you like some delicious guacamole? Hmmm…. Neither of the restaurants next door had anything for him either, so the poor baby babe ended up eating some refried beans off my finger tip. (Don’t worry, we scarfed our food and headed straight home to feed him a proper meal of oatmeal and mango.)

After the baby went to bed, Ebin and I joined the neighbors in the street to set off our own little fireworks display. Together, we were able to cobble together a fun little show (our cheap, little ones and their big, expensive ones). It was the perfect end to our day and I’m a little bummed the baby slept through the whole thing.  Oh well, I guess there’s next year.

Happy Birthday, America!  Thanks for the party!

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Friday Five: I Totally Forgot it Was Friday Until 5 Minutes Ago Edition

  1. A local portrait studio is having a “cutest baby” contest and I am not ashamed to admit that today, we went in and had Baby E’s picture taken to enter.  Now, I realize that this contest was nothing more than a clever ploy to get customers into the studio and that we totally fell for it (and purchased a fairly expensive portrait package while we were at it), but you guys…you should see these pictures.  I knew this kid was cute but these pictures are an embarassment of riches.  The promotion ends tomorrow and I have no idea when they will select a “winner” but if we hear anything, I’ll be sure to post it here.
  2. This better not show up on the internet...

  3. This is not the picture we entered, just in case you were worried, but it was taken at the studio while the photographer was distracted. I know E will hate me for this later, but, he’s so pretty!
  4. I am desperate to find some cost effective (free), local activities that E and I can do together during the week that do not take place in a retail environment.  There is only so much mall walking one girl can do before she goes broke buying cute clothes for her cute baby.  And, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but Target every day may actually be too much Target.  I also don’t think he’s getting too much out of our shopping adventures.  At this rate, his first words will be “Credit or Debit.”  He’s so little and immobile and his interests are so limited that I cannot think of anything we could possibly do with our afternoons.  Do you have a baby?  If yes, what sort of activities do you and said baby enjoy?  Please help, the walls are closing in.
  5. Baby E had his first run in with a stomach bug earlier this week and, let me tell you, we all suffered through that one.  Thankfully, a friend at church gifted us a pack of perfectly sized diapers the morning the whole thing started so we were well prepared.  It was really gross and we lost at least one really cute outfit to the cause but I think I handled the situation well, with no gagging and relative calm.  At least until he pooped on me while I was taking his temperature.  After that, I made Ebin take over dirty diaper duty whenever he was home until the illness had passed.
  6. Troops, America, flags, fireworks, hot dogs and hamburgers – I hope you celebrate it all this weekend.  Happy 4th everybody!

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Friday Five: June Memories Edition

Favorite moments from Junes past and present:

Baby E's first trip to the beach in 2011

13 weeks pregnant with Baby E in 2010

My best friends wedding in 2008

Our first trip to Savannah in 2007

Time at the beach with the band in 2005

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